Afraid

I am so afraid right now, very afraid!

Maraming beses na akong nasaktan sa love. But this is the scariest of all.....na maghintay na masaktan ulit.

Two months ago, I promised to myself na hindi na ako magmamahal ng guy na hindi ako mahal but my promise to myself became nothing beacause I fall in love again. Actually, the term "again" is not appropriate for this, beacause I like him na talaga but not seriously unlike now. Hindi ko nga alam kung I am an ignorant person e, kasi kahit alam kong may iba siyang mahal, I tried to love him.

I knew that he had small feelings for me and he told me about this last Friday and I don't know if I want to hope for this. sana hindi nalang niya sinabi para hindi ako umaasa ng ganito but I believe that God will not hurt me again like what I felt a year ago. Suko na ako sa sakit. It was too painful. lagi nalang ako nagmamahal sa taong may mahal na iba. kahit alam kong both my parents love me, sometimes I try to search love from somebody else. A one that can love me as me, not only I am their daughter. Tao rin naman ako, nakakaramdam ng pagkukulang. Yun lang naman ang gusto ko,makaramdan ng pagmamahal from the man that I love, like in fairy tale. Oo, inaamin ko na hindi ako naniniwala sa fairy tale but this time I want again to give my trust to God na ibibigay niya ito. Sana ang lalaking iyon na talaga ang man of my dreams. Sana .....sana.....sana